Tuesday, November 23, 2010

apology accepted

I couldn’t help my curiosity when the headline Fool Proof Ways to Apologize flashed on my monitor this morning. Really? Four failsafe ways to wiggle your way out of the doghouse? (And in the Shopping section nonetheless! Hmmm…I see where this is going…) Being in any relationship usually comes with it’s fair share of disagreements or arguments that can leave one or both of you needing to say you’re sorry. But considering we're all a little bit different and will react a little differently to any fight, tiff or argument that we get into, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that these probably aren’t the four best ways to fess up and be forgiven.
{via}
I’ve got to admit that I’m not won over as easily as is suggested. Yeah, I’ll take a candlelit bath or an unexpected outing and I believe there can be some special sentiment suggested by such shows of love …but a video testimony admitting your mistake? And pouring your heart out? Sounds a little too contrived to me. By all means, give these gestures a try but it may be best to understand the person you’re apologizing to. What I usually need when I’m upset is time. Give me a little time to clear my head and some space to think my own thoughts and then a heartfelt apology or expression of your feelings is going to go a lot farther than an expensive gift or perfectly planned meal. (I will take those too if you’re offering…but it would probably mean more if they came at a time when you weren’t trying to get out of the doghouse!)

Yes, the sweet touches are nice and, if you mean it, they show that you care. And that, to me, is the easy answer for having your apology accepted. Saying sorry shouldn’t be something we do because our mom says so, saying sorry should be something we do because we are actually saying what we feel.

Are you good at apologizing? Or too stubborn like I can be? What makes a sorry sweeter?

13 comments:

jenn from midlife modern said...

I apologize readily. For me, it's such an uncomfortable feeling to know someone is upset with me that I want to make it go away as quickly as possible, so I'll usually step up to the plate if I know I am at fault. But if they're the guilty party, I'll just be honest about what they did that pissed me off or hurt my feelings.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

i am not so hot at saying sorry unless it is to the people I live with- I say sorry to my hubs and monkeys but otherwise- I don't feel that sorry and I'm not sorry about it!
Um Im a work in progress-

iheartkiwi said...

I hate it when people are mad at me so I am super quick to apologize! But, I'm sure my husband would beg to differ :)

Apologies that come from the heart are always the way to go!

a little black cloud in a dress said...

I'm the worst apologizer ever. My stance on it is that I don't purposely do things that are stupid, or that I can't stand behind. Poor Bryan! lol

Sara Szatmary said...

I HATE fighting with the BF. On the rare occasion it happens, we both give up within minutes since we're both total softies.

Chiara said...

I am very stubborn and have too much pride.... not a good thing when it comes to appologizing.
xoxo

Usagi said...

I'm bad at apoligizing to people, but if the problems persist i can't help myself to apologize!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

My problem is that I over-apologize. I need to learn to stop doing that.

paislea said...

i love this. and i'm stealing that picture. you have inspired me.

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erica said...

I hate people being mad at me so I try to apologize and show that I am sorry. I had a friend in college my first year who was constantly in my dorm and hanging all over me... he kind of became "stalkerish" I mean he was nice but it was creepy. Well one day i told him that he needs to give me space and stay out of "my box" well after a couple days of him not around at all I apologized and he wouldnt have it. He still wants nothing to do with me :/

xo

Maria said...

wonderful post!

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k said...

oh man, I don't think I'm very good at apologizing - but I might have it down to an art with Mark. i don't feel like i've apologized a lot to other people, i wonder if that's a good thing or bad thing!

S and O said...

I'm pretty terrible at apologizing it never seems to come out right.

Xoxo
Sarah